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Working With the Ancestors: The Dead Aren't Done With You

Working With the Ancestors: The Dead Aren't Done With You

October 17, 2025
21 min read
#ancestors#ancestral work#death#ancestral spirits#inherited patterns#family healing#hamingja

Here's what nobody tells you about ancestors: they're not all wise, they're not all healed, and they're definitely not all rooting for your success.

Some of them are. Some of them left you gifts of strength, wisdom, resilience. Some cleared paths you now walk easily because they fought battles you'll never have to fight.

But some of them left you their unfinished business. Their unhealed wounds. Their unbroken patterns. Their shame, their rage, their trauma, their failures. And unless you consciously work with that inheritance, you're going to keep living it out.

That anxiety that seems to come from nowhere? Probably ancestral.

That self-sabotage right before breakthrough? Probably ancestral.

That relationship pattern you can't seem to break? Definitely ancestral.

You think you're making your own choices, running your own patterns. But you're often running scripts written generations ago by people who never healed their wounds, who passed them down like heirlooms nobody wanted but everyone kept.

The Norse understood this. They knew the dead don't just disappear into some peaceful afterlife where they stop influencing the living. They knew ancestors are active forces, sometimes helpful, sometimes harmful, always present in the patterns of their descendants.

This article teaches you how to actually work with your ancestors. Not the Instagram-friendly "light a candle and feel gratitude" version (though that's fine as far as it goes), but the real work: identifying which ancestral patterns are running through you, healing what can be healed, breaking what needs to be broken, and reclaiming the genuine gifts they left you.

Fair warning: this gets uncomfortable. You're going to have to face things about your family line that nobody wants to look at. You're going to have to acknowledge that some of your ancestors were deeply messed up, and they passed that mess directly to you. And you're going to have to decide whether you're going to keep carrying it or set it down.

Ready? Let's meet the dead.

The Norse View of Ancestors: Active, Present, Demanding

The Norse didn't romanticize ancestors. They understood them as complex, powerful, often problematic forces that required active relationship and negotiation.

The ancestors lived in several places:

Some went to Valhalla if they died in battle (warriors chosen by Odin).

Some went to Folkvangr, Freya's hall (she gets first choice of the slain).

Some went to Helheim, the realm of Hel (most people, those who died of illness, old age, or unheroic deaths).

Some stayed in their burial mounds, literally present in the land.

Here's the key: Regardless of where they ended up, they remained connected to their living descendants. The boundary between living and dead was permeable, not fixed. The ancestors could influence the living, and the living could work with the ancestors.

This wasn't ancestor worship (the Norse didn't worship ancestors as gods). This was ancestor work: active, reciprocal relationship between the living and the dead.

What the living owed the dead:

  • Remember them (keep their names and deeds alive)
  • Honor them (acknowledge what they accomplished)
  • Continue their work (carry forward what they started well)
  • Tend their graves (maintain physical connection to the land)
  • Feed them (literal offerings at specific times)

What the dead owed the living:

  • Wisdom (share what they learned in life and after death)
  • Protection (guard descendants from harm)
  • Luck (hamingja, the ancestral luck that flows through family lines)
  • Warning (alert descendants to danger or bad decisions)
  • Guidance (help descendants navigate challenges)

When this reciprocal relationship worked, both living and dead benefited. When it broke down, everybody suffered.

The Problem: Inherited Patterns

Here's where it gets practical and uncomfortable.

You didn't just inherit your eye color and your height from your ancestors. You inherited their patterns. Their ways of handling emotions, relating to others, dealing with money, experiencing their bodies, processing trauma, handling success, navigating conflict.

How patterns get transmitted:

Patterns pass down through multiple channels:

1. Genetic/epigenetic: Trauma literally changes gene expression. Your grandmother's unhealed trauma can affect your nervous system through epigenetic inheritance. This is science, not mysticism.

2. Behavioral modeling: You learn how to be in the world by watching your parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from theirs. Most of this learning is unconscious.

3. Family systems: Roles get established (the caretaker, the scapegoat, the golden child, the lost one) and get passed down. Someone has to play each role or the system feels unstable.

4. Energetic/spiritual: The Norse would say through hamingja (ancestral luck/power) and through the actual presence of ancestral spirits influencing descendants. Whether you believe in literal spirits or not, the pattern transmission is real.

The result: You're running programs written by people who lived in completely different circumstances, often programs that made sense then but are destructive now.

Example: Your great-great-grandmother lived through famine. She developed hypervigilance around food and money. That pattern passed down. Now you have plenty, but you still feel the scarcity anxiety, still hoard, still can't relax about resources. That's ancestral pattern transmission.

Example: Your grandfather never dealt with his rage from war trauma. He passed it to your father through emotional unavailability and sudden explosions. Your father passed it to you. Now you have the same sudden rage, even though you never went to war and can't explain where it comes from. That's ancestral pattern transmission.

You're living their unlived lives, feeling their unfelt feelings, fighting their unfinished battles.

Until you consciously work with it and break the cycle.

Identifying Your Ancestral Patterns

Before you can heal or break ancestral patterns, you have to see them clearly.

The pattern recognition practice:

Get your journal. This is going to take time. Don't rush it.

Step 1: Map your family patterns

For each category below, write what you know about patterns in your family line going back at least three generations (great-grandparents). If you don't know much about your biological ancestors, work with the family that raised you, or the cultural/adopted lineage you claim.

Relationship patterns:

  • How did your grandparents relate to each other? Your parents?
  • Divorce, abandonment, affairs, violence, codependency, distance?
  • What keeps repeating across generations?

Money/resource patterns:

  • Poverty consciousness even with plenty? Feast and famine cycles?
  • Shame around money? Obsession with money?
  • Inability to save? Inability to spend?

Emotional patterns:

  • Depression running through the line?
  • Anxiety as a family trait?
  • Rage that explodes unpredictably?
  • Emotional shutdown and unavailability?

Addiction patterns:

  • Alcoholism, drug use, workaholism, food issues?
  • What did people use to cope with pain?

Health patterns:

  • Beyond purely genetic conditions, what keeps showing up?
  • Autoimmune issues, digestive problems, chronic pain?
  • Many "mysterious" health issues are somaticized ancestral trauma.

Success/failure patterns:

  • Does success in your line get sabotaged?
  • Do people consistently fail right before breakthrough?
  • Is there a "glass ceiling" nobody seems to break?

Trauma patterns:

  • War, displacement, abuse, poverty, discrimination?
  • What happened that never got processed?
  • Who suffered in ways nobody talks about?

Be brutally honest. Write what's actually true, not what you wish were true.

Step 2: Identify your personal inheritance

Now look at your own life. Which of these patterns are you running?

You don't run all of them, but you're running some. Maybe several.

Circle the patterns that show up in your own life. Be honest. This is uncomfortable, but necessary.

Step 3: Trace the source

For each pattern you're running, ask: Where did this start? Who in my line first established this pattern, as far as I can tell?

Sometimes you know. "This rage started with my grandfather after the war." Sometimes you don't. "This anxiety seems to go back forever."

Either way, acknowledge: This pattern didn't start with me, and if I don't consciously work with it, it won't end with me.

The Ancestral Altar: Creating Sacred Space

Before you do direct work with ancestors, create an ancestral altar. This gives the work a physical anchor, a place where the living and dead can meet.

What you need:

  • A small table, shelf, or dedicated space
  • Photos of ancestors if you have them (or representations if you don't)
  • A white candle (for the ancestors generally)
  • A cup or bowl for offerings (water, coffee, alcohol, food)
  • Meaningful objects from your family (heirlooms, if you have them)
  • Something representing your family land or culture

Setting it up:

Place the photos or representations in the back/center. The candle in front. The offering bowl accessible. Arrange it in a way that feels respectful but not precious. This is a working altar, not a museum display.

Using the altar:

Light the candle when you're doing ancestral work. Speak to your ancestors here. Leave offerings (food, drink, tobacco, flowers). Sit here when you need to feel their presence or ask for guidance.

Don't make offerings to ancestors you know were harmful (we'll get to that). Make offerings to the ones who left you genuine gifts, the ones you want to honor and maintain connection with.

A critical note: If your relationship with your biological family is so traumatic that even having an altar feels dangerous, you can create an altar to "ancestors of the way" instead of "ancestors of blood." These are the spiritual/cultural ancestors who walked paths you're walking, even if you're not biologically related. Teachers, artists, activists, myth figures. This is completely valid.

Meeting the Ancestors: The Journey Practice

Now you're ready for direct contact. This is deep work. Create sacred space, make sure you won't be disturbed, have your journal ready.

The ancestral journey:

1. Preparation (5 minutes)

Sit at your ancestral altar. Light the candle. Take several deep breaths, centering yourself.

State your intention aloud: "I journey to meet my ancestors. I seek wisdom, healing, and clarity about the patterns I carry. I come with respect but also with sovereignty. I am not here to be controlled or harmed."

That last part is important. You're meeting them as an equal, not as a supplicant or victim.

2. Descent (10 minutes)

Close your eyes. Begin descending in meditation, just like the Norn working, but this time you're going to Helheim, the realm where most ancestors dwell.

Down through your body, down through the earth, down through the roots of Yggdrasil, down into the misty realm of Hel.

Chant "OTHALA" (the rune of ancestral inheritance, homeland, legacy) nine times as you descend.

3. At the gates of Helheim (15 minutes)

You arrive at the boundary of Helheim. There's often a river, a gate, a bridge. Wait there.

Call out: "Ancestors of my blood, ancestors who wish me well, I call to you. I seek to know you, to understand what you've given me, to heal what needs healing."

Wait. See who comes.

Sometimes it's recent dead (grandparents, parents who've passed). Sometimes it's ancestors you never met. Sometimes it's not a person but a felt presence, a sense of many gathered.

Trust what appears. Your unconscious knows who you need to meet.

When someone appears, ask:

  • "Who are you? What is your name?"
  • "What gift did you leave me?" (Wait for answer)
  • "What burden did you leave me?" (Wait for answer)
  • "What do you need from me?" (Wait for answer)
  • "What do I need to know?" (Wait for answer)

Listen. Actually listen. Don't edit, don't make them nicer than they are, don't refuse to hear difficult truths.

Some ancestors will be loving, supportive, genuinely helpful. Work with them. Thank them. Maintain relationship with them.

Some ancestors will be needy, demanding, manipulative, or actively harmful. We'll address how to handle them in a moment.

4. Return (5 minutes)

Thank whoever appeared. Tell them: "I honor what was good in your life. I will carry forward your genuine gifts. I will heal or release the burdens. May you find peace."

Return the way you came. Up from Helheim, up through the roots, up through the earth, back into your body.

Ground completely. Eat something. Touch the earth. Write down everything you experienced immediately, before it fades.

5. Integration (10 minutes)

At your altar, with the candle still burning, review what you learned.

Pull a rune asking: "What pattern am I being called to work with?"

Pull another asking: "What support do I have from helpful ancestors in this work?"

Write it all down. This is the beginning of your ancestral healing work.

The Helpful Ancestors: Working With Support

Some ancestors are genuinely helpful. They've done their work (in life or after death), they've healed, they want you to succeed. These are your allies.

How to recognize helpful ancestors:

  • They feel supportive, not demanding
  • They give wisdom without strings attached
  • They want you to break harmful patterns, not continue them
  • They celebrate your success rather than resenting it
  • They feel warm, stable, nourishing
  • They're proud of you for doing better than they did

Working with helpful ancestors:

Make regular offerings. Every week, light a candle, pour some coffee or water, say: "I honor you. Thank you for what you've given me. Thank you for your support."

Ask for their help when you need it. Facing a challenge? Ask the strong ones for strength. Need wisdom? Ask the wise ones for guidance. Need protection? Ask the protective ones to guard you.

Listen for their response. It usually comes as sudden knowing, as dreams, as synchronicities, as the right information appearing at the right time.

Continue their unfinished good work. If your grandmother fought for women's rights, continue that fight in your way. If your grandfather built with his hands, create things. Honor them by carrying forward what they did well.

The Harmful Ancestors: Protection and Boundaries

Here's the hard truth: some ancestors are not helpful. Some are actively harmful. And you need to learn to protect yourself from them.

How to recognize harmful ancestors:

  • They feel demanding, draining, manipulative
  • They want you to continue destructive patterns
  • They resent your healing or success
  • They feel angry that you're doing better than they did
  • They try to guilt you or control you
  • They want offerings/attention but give nothing back
  • They feel cold, hostile, or predatory

Why some ancestors are harmful:

They didn't heal their wounds in life. They're still carrying rage, shame, bitterness. Some are so identified with their suffering that your healing feels like a betrayal. Some are jealous that you have opportunities they didn't. Some are just broken and don't know how to be anything else.

What to do with harmful ancestors:

Don't make offerings to them. Don't invite them. Don't try to appease them. That just gives them power.

Set clear boundaries. In meditation, state firmly: "I acknowledge you. I release you. You have no claim on me. Your patterns end with me. Go in peace, but go."

Use protective practices:

  • Chant "THURISAZ" (the rune of protection, the thorn that keeps out what shouldn't enter) nine times
  • Visualize a barrier between you and them
  • State aloud: "I am sovereign. I choose my own wyrd. Your patterns do not bind me."

Do healing work without direct contact: You can heal ancestral patterns without inviting harmful ancestors into your space. Work with helpful ancestors or with Hel herself to heal what the harmful ones left behind.

Get support: If ancestral material is overwhelming, work with a therapist, especially one trained in family systems or ancestral healing. This work can bring up intense emotions and memories. Professional support helps.

Breaking the Pattern: The Ancestral Release Practice

When you've identified a specific ancestral pattern you're ready to break, use this practice.

Example pattern we'll use: Ancestral rage that gets passed down through the men in your line, showing up as sudden explosive anger you can't control.

The practice:

1. Acknowledge the pattern (speaking at your altar)

"I acknowledge this rage. It came from my father, from his father, from generations before. It was created by [war trauma/poverty/abuse/whatever created it]. It made sense then. It was survival. But it's harming me now, and I refuse to pass it to the next generation."

2. Honor what it protected

"This rage protected my ancestors. It kept them strong in impossible circumstances. I honor that it served them. I thank it for getting them through. But I don't need it anymore. I have other options."

This is important. Don't just reject the pattern. Understand why it existed. Honor that it served a purpose. Then consciously choose differently.

3. State the release

"I release this rage back to the ancestors who created it. I release it to the earth to be composted. I release it to Hel to be transformed. This pattern ends with me."

4. Invoke helpful ancestors

"Ancestors who have healed, ancestors who support my freedom, I call on you now. Help me break this pattern. Give me strength to choose differently. Guard me as I create a new way."

5. Claim the new pattern

"In place of inherited rage, I choose [conscious boundaries/clear communication/appropriate anger that doesn't explode]. I weave this new pattern into my wyrd. May it flow to all who come after me."

6. Seal with rune work

Pull a rune asking: "What energy supports this new pattern?"

Work with that rune daily. Chant it, embody it, carry it. You're actively weaving the new pattern into your being.

7. Daily practice

Every time the old pattern tries to activate (you feel that inherited rage rising), pause. Take three breaths. Say silently: "This pattern ends with me. I choose differently."

Then choose differently. Even if it's uncomfortable. Even if you fail sometimes. Keep choosing the new pattern more often than the old.

Over months, the pattern shifts. The ancestral grip loosens. You become free.

Reclaiming Ancestral Gifts

Not everything inherited is a burden. Some ancestors left genuine gifts: strength, resilience, creativity, wisdom, specific skills or talents.

Identifying ancestral gifts:

Ask in meditation: "What gifts did my ancestors leave me? What strengths flow through my line?"

Wait. Notice what comes. It might be:

  • Physical strength or endurance
  • Creative or artistic ability
  • Intelligence, strategic thinking
  • Resilience, ability to survive anything
  • Loyalty, capacity for deep connection
  • Humor, ability to laugh in dark times
  • Practical skills (building, healing, teaching)
  • Spiritual gifts (sight, sensitivity, magic)

Claiming the gifts:

Once you've identified a genuine gift, consciously claim it.

"I claim the strength of my grandmother, who survived [specific hardship]. I carry her resilience. Thank you."

"I claim the creativity of my great-grandfather, the woodworker. I carry his hands. Thank you."

Then use the gift. Don't let it sit dormant. If you inherited strength, be strong. If you inherited creativity, create. Honor the gift by using it well.

Hamingja: The Ancestral Luck

The Norse concept of hamingja (pronounced roughly "HAH-ming-yah") is ancestral luck or power that flows through family lines.

What hamingja is:

A kind of spiritual power or fortune that accumulates in families over generations through right action, honor, and strength. When ancestors live well, they add to the hamingja. When they live poorly, they diminish it.

You inherit hamingja from your line. If your ancestors were strong, honorable, wise, you inherit stronger hamingja. If they were weak, dishonorable, destructive, your hamingja is weaker.

But: You can increase your hamingja through your own right action. And you pass your hamingja to your descendants (biological or spiritual).

How to increase your hamingja:

  • Live with honor and integrity
  • Keep your word
  • Face challenges with courage rather than avoiding them
  • Treat others justly
  • Create rather than destroy
  • Heal rather than pass on wounds
  • Build something that lasts

Every time you choose honor over expedience, courage over comfort, healing over revenge, you increase your hamingja. You make the ancestral power flowing through you stronger.

Why this matters:

You're not just living for yourself. Your choices affect the entire line. Break a harmful pattern, and that healing flows backwards to the ancestors and forward to descendants. Strengthen your hamingja, and everyone in your line benefits.

That's real ancestral work. Not just honoring the dead, but actively healing the line and passing forward something better than you received.

Working With Specific Ancestors

Once you've done the foundational work, you can develop relationships with specific ancestors.

For specific challenges:

  • Need courage? Work with the warrior ancestors, the ones who faced danger with strength.
  • Need wisdom? Work with the elders, the ones who lived long and learned much.
  • Need healing ability? Work with the healers, the ones who tended others.
  • Need creative power? Work with the makers, the artists, the builders.

Call to them specifically: "Ancestors of strength, I need your courage now. Help me face this challenge."

They respond. Sometimes through dreams, sometimes through sudden knowing, sometimes through synchronistic support appearing in your life.

Regular check-ins:

Once a month, at your altar, do a check-in with your ancestors:

  • "What do you need from me?" (Listen)
  • "What do I need to know?" (Listen)
  • "What pattern needs attention?" (Listen)

Keep the relationship alive through regular contact. Not obsessive, not desperate, just consistent. Like maintaining any important relationship.

The Ancestral Runes

Certain runes carry specific ancestral energy and are particularly useful for this work:

OTHALA (ᛟ) - Ancestral inheritance, homeland, legacy, family patterns. The primary rune for ancestral work.

BERKANO (ᛒ) - The mother line, birth, growth through generations, nurturing ancestral care.

MANNAZ (ᛗ) - Humanity, the human family, your place in the chain of generations.

EIHWAZ (ᛇ) - The world tree, connection between realms, the vertical axis connecting ancestors (roots) to descendants (branches).

DAGAZ (ᛞ) - Breakthrough, transformation, the moment of liberation from ancestral patterns.

INGWAZ (ᛜ) - The seed, potential, what you're planting for future generations.

Work with these runes when doing ancestral practices. They open the channels between living and dead, between past and present, between inherited patterns and conscious choice.

What the Ancestors Actually Want

After months or years of ancestral work, you learn what they actually want from you:

They want to be remembered. Not perfectly, not as saints, but as real people who lived real lives.

They want their suffering to mean something. If they suffered, they want that suffering to lead somewhere, to teach something, not to be repeated pointlessly.

They want you to do better. The healthy ancestors genuinely want you to break harmful patterns, to heal, to succeed in ways they couldn't.

They want to be released. Many ancestors are stuck, bound by unfinished business, waiting for someone in the line to heal what they couldn't. When you do that work, you free them too.

They want to be useful. The strong, wise, healed ancestors want to help. Let them. Call on them. Use their gifts.

The relationship goes both ways. They help you, you honor them. They give you gifts, you pass those gifts forward. They made mistakes, you heal those mistakes so they don't have to keep repeating in the line.

That's real ancestral work. Honest, reciprocal, transformative.

What Comes Next

You now understand ancestral work from a Norse perspective. You know how to identify inherited patterns, how to work with helpful ancestors, how to protect yourself from harmful ones, how to break cycles and reclaim gifts.

But ancestors aren't the only spirits in the Norse cosmos that affect your life. There are also land spirits (landvaettir), house spirits (tomte/nisse), and other beings that inhabit the territory you live in.

And there's one more crucial concept we haven't fully explored: the fetch (fylgja), your personal spirit double, your soul's animal form, the part of you that operates outside ordinary consciousness.

In the next article, we're diving into spirit work beyond ancestors: working with the fetch, land spirits, and other beings that exist in the permeable boundary between seen and unseen worlds.

Ready to meet what else is out there? Let's explore the spirits.


This article is part of our Mythology collection. Read our comprehensive Norse Gods guide to explore the ancient wisdom and mystical power of Norse spiritual traditions.

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